Thursday, 14 November 2013

Vaccination day - brought to you by Calpol



We took M to have her first vaccinations today. No parent enjoys seeing their child upset, and inevitably, any baby is going to object to having injections, especially when she has no idea what is going on. She was actually very good, although she has been very grumpy and upset all afternoon and evening. It makes it hard to remember sometimes why we do it. But I have absolutely no doubt that we have done the right thing in having her vaccinated against diseases that are virtually unheard of in this day an age. But if course, that is why they are unheard of. 

One of the conditions she was vaccinated against today was Diphtheria. In the 1930s this was the third leading cause of death in children in England and Wales. My Nan, who was a child in the early part of the 20th Century had Diphtheria before the vaccine was available. Once diagnosed with the illness, her terrified mother arranged for her to go to a sanitorium, which is what happened at that time. It was a very dangerous condition and she was very unwell. I remember her telling me about the little girl in the bed next to hers, who also had Diphtheria. One day, her parents came in to see her, bringing a brand new very expensive doll as a gift.  The girl died later that week. Nan was, fortunately, one of the lucky ones. She was in the sanitorium for a long time, but she recovered. She lived into her late 80s. 

I feel so very lucky to live in a time and place where Diphtheria - among many others - is a disease from another generation. This is what I am remembering as I give my daughter Calpol to ease the discomfort she is feeling. 

Monday, 11 November 2013

Things they don't tell you about parenthood

In the run up to having a baby, there seems to be so much that people don't tell you about parenting. There are books, and everyone has advice, but there are critical gaps... For example, I never knew:


  1. How much I want to cry myself every time my baby cries for more than about 10 minutes in one go
  2. How long something needs to go in boiling water before it is properly sterile
  3. How you can manage to keep it sterile given that everything else in the household is not - including me and the baby
  4. Baby books are full of 'advice' about sleeping which bears no resemblance to real babies and how they behave
  5. Ditto the above re feeding
  6. Ditto the above re crying
  7. There is absolutely no rational way to parent
  8. Babies continue to be an absolute joy, no matter how much of the other rubbish goes on
  9. I have no idea what I did with my time before my daughter was born
  10. I am so very lucky. A report last week gave the statistic that 1 in 133 babies in England don't survive past a week old. A shocking figure, and one that I have witnessed to be true through the experiences of others. 

Sunday, 3 November 2013

Back to work



M is eight weeks old today. I was so lucky to have four weeks away from work after she was born, but now I've been back for four more. I have to confess, the first week or two were tough. Disturbed sleep and a clear head do not go together, and inevitably, in my absence, a few things in my part of the company have gone awry. I spent a lot of the first few weeks clearing up a couple of messes. I'm in a lucky position, meaning I can work from home a day or two a week. This means I can spend time with M while offering support to R. I've even managed to be productive at home, which is a pleasant surprise. Looking after M between two people is vastly easier than on your own. 

M continues to be a joy. Rather marvellously she has started smiling at us in the last week, which is indescribably wonderful. The balance between work and parenthood isn't always easy, and I'm a little nervous about the upcoming week, where I'll be away from home overnight, leaving R to fend for herfelf for 36 hours. I have my fingers crossed that M will have a 'low maintanance' night and that I don't come home to find them both a bit frayed at the edges. 

Friday, 25 October 2013

Biology and race: a dangerous obsession

I warn you now, this is going to be a bit of a rant...

For the last few days we have all seen headlines like the one below in newspapers. 
I want to ask you to think about whether this headline would be acceptable were the word 'gypsies' replaced with 'blacks' or 'asians'. No, it doesn't seem right does it? That's because this is racism, pure and simple. From what I gather, the child seized in Greece has been taken by the authorities on the basis of being blonde and not connected to her parents by DNA. On that basis, presumably in a few years time I should expect Police to come sniffing around me and my daughter. She will almost certainly have different colouring to me and definitely has no DNA connection to me. That doesn't make her any less my daughter. I helped bring her into the world, change her nappies, cuddle her, care for her and fear for the future for her, as most parents do. Of course, I am not a Roma gypsy, and therein lies my safety. 

One of the most worrying things about this news story is the fact that on the back of this, two children closer to home, in Ireland, were taken from their Roma parents because they looked different to them. Following DNA tests they were returned. What kind of trauma is being inflicted on these families? I cannot even begin to imagine the horror of having one's child taken away. 

So where will this end? I urge you all to think carefully about what parenting is really about, because in my view it has bugger all to do with DNA or ethnicity. It has everything to do with love and responsibility. 

Thursday, 24 October 2013

All grown up (me, that is)


Our little girl is doing really well, and already I can't believe how much she has changed. She has grown upwards and outwards, can hold her head up and even treats us to a smile from time to time. Our lives have, naturally, changed. But, I think it has changed for the better.

Last weekend we went to a fancy dress harvest bash at one of the baby groups R takes M to. As you can see, she fitted right in. In fact, I'm beginning to think that R only had a baby in order to dress her up. I write this while a CD of nursery rhymes is playing and deciding which park M would most like to be taken for a stroll in.

In a few days time I will turn 35. I was thinking earlier of my 25th and 30th birthday celebrations, and my life as it was then. And I have decided I am now, officially, all grown up. I am now married to a wonderful woman and living in a lovely house with my wife and daughter. I have the joy of doing a fulfilling job and coming home to my family and, thankfully, not having to worry where the money is coming from. I know, it's all a bit Pollyanna, but genuinely, I am appreciative of my lot. Having a new baby isn't always easy, but it is definitely worth it.

Monday, 14 October 2013

This is my life


Yes, this is my life. Incredible highs where I can't imagine being happier and awful lows where I wonder what happened to the world. One particular low point was changing our bed sheets in the middle of the night because M's nappy exploded on them...

Tuesday, 8 October 2013

28 days later

Sleep deprived.

Poo and wee soaked. 

Cluster feeding.

Milk spots.

Nappy disasters.

Sleep debacles.

Caesarian recovery slow.

Crying (all three of us).

Deeply in love with my daughter.