Thursday, 19 December 2013

Top ten parenting milestones

Everyone who has a baby will be familiar with the idea of milestones - first smile, first sitting up, first steps, first words, first dry night etc etc etc. So, with that in mind I have devised some key parenting milestones:

1) Abject terror - some point in the six hours after you get your baby home and realise this is now your life. 

2) Projectile poo on several items of your own clothing thanks to your baby - week one

3) Develop ability to make cups of tea while still asleep - week two

4) Confusion because there are so many guidelines about feeding, sleeping and general safety that make logical sense but do not seem compatible with your baby - one to four weeks. 

5) Guilt about the above - four to six weeks. 

6) Decision made to stop feeling guilty about the guidelines you don't follow because you know your baby best - six to eight weeks. 

7) Look at newborn babies and barely remember that your child was once that small and new - eight weeks. 

8) Sense of achievement that you have finally nailed your baby's routine and have a much better idea of what you're doing - around ten weeks. 

9) Utter horror that everything has changed and your baby has stopped doing anything predictable suddenly - around three months. 

10)Sigh that this is your lot as a parent - around three months. 

Yes, I've been through all these (and many others). What are yours?

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