When you discover that a friend is expecting a baby, what do you say? Think carefully, and then read the comments below. These are the ones that R and I now have stock answers for...
- Well, that will change your life forever. Yes, marvellous, thank you for that, we hadn't realised...
- Is it a boy or a girl? We don't know yet.
- Will you find out? Yes, but we don't mind either way.
- Well, make the most of any sleep you get now, in a few months you won't get any. Excellent, that's very helpful. Thank you.
- When is it due? September.
- Did you have IVF? This is one for those of us who don't have an obvious man in our lives. The answer is no.
- Ooh, children are a gift aren't they? Yes they are. But I am not sure I need to hear that phrase ever again.
- Let me tell you about my traumatic/unpleasant/painful/tragic childbirth story... No, please don't.
- To R when she is feeling ghastly: Oh you look really well. Nope, she's not, she feels like death warmed up. Thanks though.
- Will you move to a bigger place? No - having a child is hard work enough without moving house too.
I am tempted now to refer everyone to this link. Yes, I know I sound churlish. In fact I am totally guilty of some of the above myself. Perhaps we could come up with some alternatives?