Monday, 4 March 2013
What's in a name?
Me: hello mum, I just thought you'd want to know that me and R have chosen our names for when the baby comes. Do you want to hear them?
Mum: Don't you want to keep them secret until the baby is here? I feel a bit superstitious about knowing names before he or she is here...
Me: no mum, we've not even got that far yet. I mean the names for us, what the baby will call us!
This is something that most straight couples don't go through. Yet, for us, people often ask us what we will be called, and in turn, we ask other same-sex parents what they do.
We had several options, including:
1 - just being 'mum and dad'. This was swiftly discounted as it could confuse the child, and perhaps other children too. I do have a strange fondness of the 'dad' name though, although I feel faintly disloyal about that...
2 - being 'mummy S and mummy R'. This seemed a bit long winded, and a bit too contrived.
3 - being 'mum' and 'mummy'. This felt too similar.
4 - being 'mummy' and 'mama'. To start with I wasn't sure. But then I realised something... Children always say 'mama' before mummy, and so the baby will say my name first! In addition, I have decided that if the child ever says 'dada', I'll claim that as me too.
Ultimately, at some point, my son or daughter will make their own mind up about what to call us, regardless of what we choose, and so much the better!